We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
