The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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