I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
