Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Whod you bang

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  (313): Whod you bang http://tfl.nu/rw3i
  Replies (7) Good night (2758) Bad night (932)
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  (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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  (818): my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you http://tfl.nu/x2i9
  Replies (30) Good night (5995) Bad night (993)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  It'll hurt less than being alone

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  (407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx
  Replies (12) Good night (4728) Bad night (1318)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

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  (610): not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis. http://tfl.nu/tt6j
  Replies (11) Good night (630) Bad night (3847)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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  (904): i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night. http://tfl.nu/xd4f
  Replies (22) Good night (6613) Bad night (907)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7033) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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  (716): angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up http://tfl.nu/mr2g
  Replies (26) Good night (4518) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

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  (919): Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon. http://tfl.nu/tzl9
  Replies (57) Good night (20659) Bad night (1547)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

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  (731): Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?! http://tfl.nu/umwb
  Replies (7) Good night (3943) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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  (616): Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life. http://tfl.nu/u6ny
  Replies (7) Good night (1499) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.

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  (814): I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/b3si
  Replies (13) Good night (1199) Bad night (534)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

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  (317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Are you alive?

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up under the pier.

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  (703): Are you alive? (1-703): I woke up under the pier. http://tfl.nu/dfp7
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.

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  (412): I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA. http://tfl.nu/jgm4
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.

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  (781): also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lhc0
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (242)

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