plz talk dirty to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
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Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."