1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins