Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

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  (571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time http://tfl.nu/1urp
  Replies (40) Good night (6691) Bad night (1590)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

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  (815): I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen http://tfl.nu/dsay
  Replies (27) Good night (2371) Bad night (2305)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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  (402): next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/nkj3
  Replies (6) Good night (4681) Bad night (890)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

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  (703): It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement... http://tfl.nu/l7x1
  Replies (8) Good night (1961) Bad night (1676)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1261) Bad night (5309)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

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  (760): Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI. http://tfl.nu/53k1
  Replies (6) Good night (2131) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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  (+45): The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm. http://tfl.nu/ztnf
  Replies (2) Good night (2666) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I want to take my head off and cuddle with it

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole

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  (832): I want to take my head off and cuddle with it (832): Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole http://tfl.nu/jldl
  Replies (7) Good night (1070) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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  (203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd
  Replies (2) Good night (1270) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?

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  (856): I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/uyqh
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1132) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?

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  (207): Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park? http://tfl.nu/iybx
  Replies (9) Good night (1248) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

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  (313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677
  Replies (7) Good night (1661) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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  (401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.

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  (612): I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises. http://tfl.nu/ns4w
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (244)

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