Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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  (609): She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . . http://tfl.nu/b8fc
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (2353)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3846) Bad night (903)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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  (904): i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night. http://tfl.nu/xd4f
  Replies (22) Good night (6564) Bad night (852)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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  (732): i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you. http://tfl.nu/3kwo
  Replies (18) Good night (5079) Bad night (773)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you

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  (780): I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you http://tfl.nu/csm9
  Replies (6) Good night (808) Bad night (3348)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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  (773): I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs http://tfl.nu/g3cl
  Replies (3) Good night (3312) Bad night (802)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4391) Bad night (1135)
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  (707): View more from California

  Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.

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  (707): Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb. http://tfl.nu/i5x2
  Replies (8) Good night (1816) Bad night (823)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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  (+61): He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday? http://tfl.nu/aaeg
  Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (1212)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie. 

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  (502): So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.  http://tfl.nu/6cm8
  Replies (7) Good night (1721) Bad night (642)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".

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  (613): You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast". http://tfl.nu/iqmw
  Replies (12) Good night (2461) Bad night (584)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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  (310): Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes. http://tfl.nu/zngo
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (491)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed

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  (717): so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed http://tfl.nu/ot6x
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (292)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway

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  (708): I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway http://tfl.nu/ggq6
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (271)
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  (562): View more from California

  Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!

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  (562): Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home! http://tfl.nu/3ska
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (180)

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