Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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