If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
