today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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