6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
