I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
