I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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