I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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