so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
