I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
