Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize