I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize