so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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