The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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