I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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