Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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