So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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