Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize