using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
