I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
