All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
