Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
