when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
