Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
