sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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