i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
