My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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