we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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