I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
