Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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