It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
