I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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