I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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