got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize