Pappa wants mamma naked
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
