I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
