i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
