On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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