my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think my fart just growled at me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
