his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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