Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cockslap morals
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter