Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
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I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick