Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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