We named our party play list daddy issues
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.