i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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