I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
