On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
