just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
