mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she looked like the before picture.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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