I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
