So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i think im in europe. pls send help
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
