the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
