youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
