She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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