Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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