return my video game
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
