your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
