WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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